five of me

opening reception November 8th,2007 6:30 until 8:30 p.m.
at Candystore

It is better to be busy than not...but this busy? I wish I could split into five people right now. All with their own specific responsibilities and they would list like this.

1. Artist (maker)
2. Accountant
3. Graphic Designer
4. Office Assistant
5. Studio Assistant

I am managing to doing it all and somewhere in my mind, nestled between the to do lists and the piled up laundry, I keep whispering to myself that this won't kill me and that it is all good. Yes it is good and I am so happy for it but the down side to doing it all myself is that it becomes very difficult to do everything well and with all the attention every single (and very important) task demands. I've learned this lesson this past week the hard way, by making costly mistakes and having to clean up the mess that they created. Ugh!


With that I want to end this on a positive note with one thing that did get knocked off the to do list for this week and that is my invitation (see above) for my upcoming show at Candystore on November 8th. I hope that those of you that are in the area will mark it on your calendars and come on by. It is sure to be a fun party and I would love to see you there!

By the way my 2008 Calendars are still available so check them out here!

a lot on my plate

I am off to New York for a week but I wanted to leave you with a little burst of summer color before I board the plane.

Autumn is always a busy time for me and when I get back from this last summer hurrah, it is nose to the grindstone for me. Many new stores to fill orders for like this one. A new gallery in Toronto (which I am terribly excited about!). A show opening in mid November at the Candy Store, here in San Francisco, Holiday sales with my friend Josie at the new Fourth & Clay Studio that will be opening up in Berkeley and of course the calendars. Yes there will be calendars again this year. I will keep you posted on their arrival (sometime in October).

I am so happy to be this busy. Back in April I was thinking I might need to get a second job but it looks like for now I am going to be okay. Oh the manic life of a self employed Artist. It is not for everyone but I wouldn't have it any other way.

two sides of the journey

two swallows large oval bowl 16" x 11"

Hello Friends, I have missed my regular forays in to the little bloggy world that I have become a part of and has become a part of me. Things have been moving in all kinds of directions though I am not sure which direction I am moving in myself. It has been a very difficult couple of weeks. I have been forced to do some serious reassessment of my situation and how feasible it is to continue on without having a secondary job to rely on for income. My friends have called worried about me. Rightly so, in that I am lucky to have friends who will put it to me straight. In all honesty I have struggled for years now. I have never been able to get a leg up financially, always just squeezing by, hanging in there sometimes by the thinnest of threads. It isn't easy to talk about much less publicly admit. I get so much support to keep on from people and I do believe in myself and what I do. The problem is that no matter how many accolades I receive, shows offered and even orders made it is a difficult to make a living at what I do. Many people say, with the best of sentiments, that it will all work out... but when I sit down to pay my bills I see that it isn't all working out. When I don't have health insurance I see it isn't all working out. When I lay awake at night hoping that nothing will happen to me for fear of not being able to take care of myself it really truly does not feel like it is all working out.

I think the most frustrating part of all of this is the thought of reinventing myself or redirecting what I have worked so hard at doing and a life I have created for myself so that I can eat and pay my bills. The question in my mind is that if I do get a real job, will that help me sleep better at night or will I still lay awake frustrated by the fact that I have had to give up my dreams of being a self supporting artist?

thanks!

the long list

• My relationship with mother (we did not speak for nine years). We are very close now and talk regularly.
• My big sister (who was a mother to me when my mother wasn’t being a mother).
• That I am able to make a living doing what I love.
• All the times I have been in love (a lot!).
• To lose love(s). It has humbled me and taught me to let go.
• That I am still falling in love.
• My friends. (Who have been family to me when I thought myself an orphan).
• My Father. Who shipped me off to Hungary when I was nineteen and changed the course of my life.
  
• My big brother. Who built model cars with me for and giving me my first car when I was sixteen (a datsun 1967 411).
• That I can run five miles at the age 42!
• My health! My health! My health!
• That I never smoked, got into drugs or got pregnant as a teenager. (See above; thanks to big sister).
• For all of my travels to amazing places and All the amazing people I have made friends with along the way.
• Mucineni (Aunt Muci in Hungarian) The famous circus performer who taught me that a woman could live out her dreams.
• My Mom (again!) who taught me the love of food.
• OH and again my mom, who sewed all my clothes for me when I was little (and even some now) even though she hated sewing.
• My fabulous, kind and generous neighbors (and their very cute dog Karina)
• My studio mate, Beni. It couldn’t get any better!
• Twenty years of restaurant experience. Oh the things I have seen and heard!
• The friends I have made working in restaurants. The most brilliant people I know. Never and I mean NEVER underestimate the wisdom of a food server.
• That I can still spin pizza dough. (My first restaurant job).
• My sweet little apartment in this great city.
• Being surrounded by Artists and Craftspeople.
• That the earth is still spinning. We need to take good care!
• Music.
• Cookies. I love ‘em and life just wouldn’t be as sweet with out them.
• All the amazing plants and animals that inhabit this planet.
  
• That George Bush will be out of office very soon! I still can’t stand the sound of that man’s voice.
• The Schnick family. Who turned me on to Art and continually inspire me. Molly and Susannah, the closest I ever came to having children of my own, and who are now my friends.
• To all of the people who continually support me and what I do. That means YOU!
• Blessings to all of you. Remember to love one another. Even if it means you have to do it while the T.V. is blasting a football game.

Diva Dinner

Last Sunday night (a week ago already!) I hosted a dinner at my place for the ladies I like to call the West Coast Pottery Diva's. Seated at my dinner table were four amazing, talented, gorgeous women; Sara, Christa, Whitney and Rae (and myself, guess that makes five). A couple times a year one of us hosts a dinner at our home. It is a chance for us to catch up with one another, eat good food, drink wine and to use all the lovely pottery we have collected from our ceramic making friends. It is also an opportunity to exchange hot tips like, how to pack ceramics efficiently with corrugated cardboard (fascinating, I know!) and where to get the best deal for boxes. I know I am making you jealous with all this cardboard talk. We talk about other things too. Sarah has a brand new baby, (she was filling a one hundred piece order right up until she went into labor!) and well okay, we talk about boys… but not too much, well maybe a little more than I am letting on. Through the ups and downs of life, baby having and boy drama, all of these ladies never stop making their work AND they support themselves solely with their Art. Very Impressive! I feel the cross connection between Artists is essential to survival in a profession where one must carve out their own path. There are times, serious times, when I have wanted to throw in the towel and say “I give up, it’s too difficult, I am poor, I am heartbroken, I am overworked …” then one of these ladies will simply say “you can’t give up.” They understand how hard it can be but they also know that the benefits far outweigh the hardships. I know that I am not alone and so what I do becomes something larger than myself and the work I make. As a group we share common agenda; to make our Art, to make a living with it and to enjoy our lives while we do it. Without these ladies (and many others) I don’t know if I would have lasted as long as I have as an Artist. It’s because of people such as them I am able to feel validated and that the so called impossible task of supporting oneself with their Art actually is possible, very possible. Thank you ladies, I am humbled and inspired by your talent, your passion for your work and your downright loveliness!