repose

work in progress for my upcoming solo show

I have been hunkered down and in my own head these past weeks. With a heavy show schedule ahead of me this summer and autumn I have needed time to think, without distractions and feeling like I need to explain this process...but here I am explaining it.

In the fast paced world we live in our mental bellies have expanded beyond capacity and it seems that the amount of information out there that we consume is unending. Admittedly I am very much a willing participant in this feeding frenzy. Lately I have felt overwhelmed with it all. Gorged. Too much to talk about, too much to see, too much to know. I kind of started to feel like I was drowning and that it was hard to get oxygen to my brain so I could think my own thoughts. Our own thoughts, a key and vital element to any creative person's life.

The amount of vigilance it takes to keep myself in the mix as well as simultaneously be creative can get extremely draining. I sometimes fear I will wear my own batteries out if I don't take time to let the machinery rest. I say this here because I think this is happening to people a lot yet we continue to be pulled in even when it is too much. As much as a person such as myself depends on people seeing what I do and make and wanting to know about me there is a point in which that in itself can begin to take away from the actual thing that I am trying to achieve, which is to make art.

washed brushes

So I have spent some time daydreaming (so essential for me). I have spent time running errands. I have gone on field trips. I've started going on runs again. I have worked in my garden. I have cooked myself some lovely meals. And I have planned vacations and breaks so I can visit a different reality other than my own (also very necessary for me).

I try to keep a gentle balance in my life. I am very much a person who is motivated by opportunity and projects but when too much starts to happen I can also shut down. Keeping things at a manageable pace and not making decisions based in fear like, if I turn down that order I won't be able to pay my rent, but based on how exactly it is that I want to live and what I can realistically manage. It is what I try to do though not always successfully. It is just kind of a sticky note on my brain. It's edges are curled and there are fingerprints and stains all over it but it stays there all the time.


So here's to letting the machinery rest friends!
See you all next week.