06 October 2006
I have a friend that says, "it takes two weeks for your soul to arrive after your body gets there." It has taken about that long for me to start feeling like I have really arrived back home, my body has been here but my mind was still traveling. My perspective is different than it was before. This is good. This is what I had hoped would happen by leaving. Actually part of me never left. I could still see, in my minds eye, the streets and the buildings and sense the cool air that this city is so famous for but my heart feels different. Different in a good way. This is the best feeling of all. Though honestly I am not sure how I feel about being back in San Francisco. Now that my soul has just arrived, it has to have a meeting with my body and they need to discuss everything that has just happened. That may take a while.
In the mean time I am whittling away at the pile of tasks, bills, responsibilities that are stacked up everywhere on my desk but most of all in my mind. It is hard to feel creative when there is so much clutter. Not necessarily bad clutter, just clutter. I went to the studio the other day to see how it looked. I couldn't remember how I left it. It wasn't pretty...I have some cleaning to do before I can get started. I went in, looked around for about ten minutes and then decided I could not deal with the mess right then and left. You know, sometimes it is enough to just go visit the space where you create and just sit there. That can be helpful in your process. The pressure to continually create can be stifling and this is something I have to deal with now that my Art has become my livelihood. I sometimes feel like I have to be ON all the time. Everyone is different and has different rhythm's and ways they work. The key is finding out your own rhythm and honoring it. For example I work in fits and starts. When I work, that is all I do, this can go on for months. When I stop, I stop and that is all I do, well I do other things in that time like catch up with friends, bake and go to movies. Some people approach their Art like a nine to five job. Other people are night owls, loving the silence that night time brings. I always wished I was one of those night owl types but I am not. I am a morning person so I honor this. My creative energy wanes after about seven o'clock in the evening. I don't fight this anymore, I just go with it.
Another thing that I have been doing since being back is revisiting my older work. It is wonderful seeing things with fresh eyes and being gone has afforded me this pleasure. This is a photo of my glowbowls. They are something I have been making for the last six or so years. When I designed them it was a response to the muchness of my work. I wanted to give my eyes, my hands and my mind a break. Something to contemplate without images and color. They are called glowbowls because they hold candles and when lit, glow. Lately have been lighting them at night as I wait for my soul to arrive.
Posted by diana fayt at Friday, October 06, 2006